All that you said,

I wish that too in 

that sweet moment 

when the world is wiped clean 

and anything is possible,

before sleep takes over.

That is all

You,
I start at you and I don't know the rest.
I say it over and over
And I don't know how to proceed
My words are failing me.
Please don't go, I want to say
But I erase it
Please be alright,
 I will say instead.

You are not here anymore.
That is all.

You

You 

will always be you 

in ways that bereaves me

Now sealed from each other

My ears pressed to the walls of the room

You occupy, worlds that never meet

Just felt intuitively

Through lost currents of the heart.

That is how the world shatters.

That is how the world spins.

If I say your name at one end of the world
 Would you hear me at the other end?

Sick to the stomach

Afraid to even write here, 

Still in love, still in fear

A series of emotions I am

Unable to entangle

but mostly the debilitating, weakening, sinking 

 falling that stands out

The dread of just falling without landing

without an end

Unable to write, unable to eat

In the mistaken belief 

That you would peel off my skin

 and I would punctuate you life.

Silence, so much silence its beginning

 to reverberate into loud nothingness

Still so much to stitch back together

With needles, only the sharpest would do

Vast expanse of space now,

No plans, no date marked

Blank pages, nothing much to write about

A book suddenly made blank

Un-inked, wiped out of trace

Words undone

You have already done so much of trying

To claw yourself back into what was

Don't you see the deep red  blood you drew from him?

It is time to leave. 

Muffled sobs because your mother sleeps beside you.

What you wouldn't give to be in an empty house

To cry your eyes out

To live your life out in the never-ending desert

 Searching for what you have lost 

And will never get back

Still the tug of the heart to overcome.

I hope to one day 

Love you without hurting 

To love you with pure grace and goodwill 

And love you from a distance 

To love you for the wonderful dream 

that you had turned out to be.