In you all things are changing, less fire, more water,
sometimes you wake up as though you never slept at all,
you are falling back behind the lines, it reminds you of
retreating armies, you think it cowardly, you are most
cruel to the weakest, you don't really know if you are
finally letting go or clinging to things you should have
let go long ago, you sift through memories of others-
a slave in ancient Greece, a Sufi saint in Ajmer,
a concubine in China, you are all of them and none
of them, you wonder if that is the fifth dimension
he told you about? You, who once fell in love
with the crowd in Times Square, New York, gets
a headache when assaulted by loud voices, the movements
of too many people disorients you. You seek out the sunlight,
you look for love in corners of books, you turn out
cupboards, run that deserted stretch of road, you are
changing, fighting, swallowing, choking until you are so
exhausted, but it takes you so long to fall asleep, hours go
by and you wait for the enveloping peace that only
sleep brings, you sometimes end up crying because
you are losing out on people, people whom you love
and people who love you, you can see them trying so hard
to pull you up but you are unable to stretch your hand,
you are retreating and you don't know how to go back,
how to reverse it and go back to that point
where everything would be alright again.
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