Saturday, February 17, 2018

I almost had you back for a day

I almost had you back for a day
You asked me if the book you received
was from me, Yes, Was it cruel of me
to remind you of me like that?
And you showed me two of the same books,
Have I sent you same book before?
No,you laughed, you bought it for yourself.
And we asked each other about our lives
tentatively, casually, as though the last month
had not ruptured us, and you made me
smile at the way our rhythm had not
quite changed, I am grateful that
you shared that with me, the snow
in Mussoorrie, giving me hope
that our friendship could still be salvaged;
I almost had you back for a day.
it meant the world to me.

Some days I can't bear the loss

You would have loved this movie,
we would have gone one night after school
our love overflowing, our eagerness to 
witness the world change, and we would
have laughed like children, I would have
cried a bit, we would have talked about the
lives we wanted to inhabit;
now you and I
would watch this movie on our own
or with other people;
some days I can't bear the loss.

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Nothing left but ashes

This place I came back to with nothing but love,
if you think you can destroy me with your
taunts and your cruelty, you should know
I am not harmless, I have arsenals up my sleeve,
I came bearing gifts of love and harmony
but if you think you can get the better of me,
if you think you can suppress my spirit
the way you did to the girls who dared
to defy your patriarchal rules,
you have found in me a formidable foe,
I will burn you down in the subtlest of ways
you can never walk again, I will erase your history,
it would have been as though you have 
never existed, this world is going to be
inherited by wayward women like me,
strong and defiant and intelligent
and there is nothing you can do to stop it.
If you want to stay in the wrong side of history,
keep vilifying me and my courage to live
according to my terms, I will raze you
to the ground, don't think that my goodwill
cannot turn to rage; there will be
 nothing left of you but ashes.

Monday, February 5, 2018

Our love is a strange phenomena

Our love is a strange phenomena
It drives us both mad,
You are always wanting
more than I have to offer
At night we say more than 
we should, you sulk, I become
pensive, it is hard for lovers
to stay apart, it is another
matter altogether when I see you
and you smile at me so,
and you look at me and tell me
I have got heart problems
because of you, and I burst out
laughing because you can be so very
dramatic and my heart is bursting
at its seams with joy, and you pull
me close and kiss me, and nothing
can ever feel this right if this
wasn't something true.

Sunday, February 4, 2018

Nothing but love

Your heart is breaking
So is mine
We delved into each other's
lives as lovers do, as friends do,
only to lose all of it
all at once.
Yet there is nothing
but love, always.

Friday, February 2, 2018

Learn to live with that

Life has already moved on without you
and it gives you a mixed feeling somewhat
because it was your life too, the friends,
the place, the laughter, the stories,
all of them were yours maybe not equally
maybe more his, now his to claim,
you have relinquished your share,
it was never yours, you have never
 fitted anywhere, you had loved them
even then but you want him to be
happy, and you go through the post
just to hear his voice which you have lost,
the concern is still there even
after the familiarity has receded,
but you can be secure of the knowledge
that they have moved on
without you and you will learn
to live with that.

Sunday, January 28, 2018

Tokens to remember them by

Lovers leave behind their trail
of habits we retain even when
they are long gone, arranging your
shelf you find a dedication
To P, the future NPW and the one 
who loves her words more than 
anything else and it all comes rushing
back out of the blue, where did
the love go? What remains are
the love notes, the phrases you picked
up from him from your time together,
acquired tastes of certain alcohol,
you could possibly not back to
a certain restaurant and not feel
like weeping, even friends you shared
and who gets to keep whom;
lovers leaving us tokens to
remember them by.