Wednesday, May 28, 2014

I hope to one day 
Love you without hurting 
To love you with pure grace and goodwill 
And love you from a distance 
To love you for the wonderful dream 
that you had turned out to be.

Monday, May 5, 2014

Crying your heart out

The Indian summer bore down on you
You had an urgency in your walk
The prospect of happiness gave a sudden rush to your head
A half-smile to your lips which you tried to suppress
But there is only so much you can hide within yourself
Even though it was something  you did ever so often
You remained the unprepared victim of unannounced happiness
I still remember the mint green scarf you wore that day
How you skipped steps as you climbed  up the stairs, so eager,
 your heart bursting, exploding, as though the minute moments of your life
 could change the fate of the entire world, as though
 the world itself would burst into flames
if you reached the door too late,
and how you saw the lock on the door
and  your heart sank
And you ran out carrying with you
Misgivings of being denied the perfection
that was to be that moment
Unable to bear it no more, you sat down
Under the canopy of the first stars
And that's where I found you
 Crying your heart out.

Saturday, May 3, 2014

I don't know how many more days will be drowned
 in tears before I can let you go
And how many sleepless nights pass
waiting for the clock to strike 6 in the morning
My heart attuned to the timing of your arrival
And I am writing this in the hope that it will cure me
As spells to exorcise all that I have loved and lost
You most of all
Like the pain of countries partitioned,
Torn apart and bloodied
You and I,
Now just You
 and I
without being held by each other
untangled limbs
I worry about you
Even though I have no claim on you
Love, like other habits, die hard.

A prayer for you

My mother told me to not give my heart so young
That I wasn't like the other young ladies
 I grew up with in school
That I was supposed to achieve a lot more
How was I to know I would find you
And that you would take my hand
And show me a whole new world?
But now that I have lost you
 By my own undoing
 I want you to heal
And even though I am no longer yours
I want to help you
Somehow anyhow with words
 With silence, even in my absence
I want you to have the best the world can offer
I want you to have the rains that you love,
And the little things that make you happy
I hope you can find solace in them,
In your movies and your music
I don't have anything else to offer you
Except a prayer for you.

Friday, May 2, 2014

You are your own person now
You belong to no one
Untangled from another person. 
Brutally. Glass shatteringly.
Breathe. Cry a little less.
Can you do that for me?please?
I know how much it hurts,
How it was never meant to be this way
And how can you possibly un-love someone?
But things are they way they are
The sooner you accept it the better 
You want to learn how to forget 
Is that it?
You want to wipe it clean 
All the memories, especially the good ones 
Because they hit you so hard
At how perfect it once was 
Because there are so many things that I couldn't say
When I should have
Such as it never happened that day
Even though you found so many witnesses for it
Such as I let you make so many assumptions
Because I knew I had lost you
And it didn't make sense anymore to clarify
Every single poem was about you
So please don't take that away from me
That I really wanted my whole life with you
Till you brushed me away
That I will always always love you
In the most intensely overwhelmingly insane way
It starts and ends with a cigarette like you said
And all of it,all of us ends in rain.