It's a strange kind of waiting

What is this game
 Of hide and seek?
You hide
 I seek in desperation
 And when I seek you out
 I don't say
 What I thought I would say
 We meet
 Everyday
 Sometimes we skip days
 Then days turn to weeks
 And weeks to months
 And we meet again
 We play the same game
 Over and over again
 Since the first time
 Five years ago
 I loved you then
 As only a child could
 I hate you now
 As only a scorned young woman could
 It's a strange kind of waiting
 Waiting for you to fade.

I write to you

I am writing to you now,
Writing to you makes me sane,
I imagine that you can hear the tone of my voice
I have a frightfully wild imagination
 Quite displaced from reality
 I wonder if you understanding my world is one of them.
 But I still write to you,
 I no longer care if you read them attentively,
 Smile appropriately at the amusing anecdotes
 Or just leave them sealed.
 It has become a drug now-
Writing to you.
Some posted, others still gathering dust in my locker
 Between the pages of my history books, between my sketches
 An out pour of my miseries, my love
 My sadness, my curiosities, my fears
 And also about the little delights
 Of waking up too early on Sunday mornings,
And that little girl who smiled and waved at me,
 And how badly I wanted her as my doll.
 That, all that and much more I write to you.

Wait for me

When I am gone
 Love me sometimes
 Remember the last lines we spoke
The last glances of longing and love
 And something that only the thought
 Of impending separation can bring
 Take care of you because I love you so
 Take care of things that might cause pain
 When your eyelids drop heavy
Pray a bit if you can
 Drop in a word for me
I will see you in my dreams now
You with your beautiful eyes
Hold me close, sing me to sleep,
 Cast your nets and bring me back
Our city of dreams, our city of awakening,
 I know you will find its soul
 If you do find mine too.
 Tell me you will wait for me
 As I take my time to come back to you
 Because the heart loves you more than it can bear.

Our love is a twisted thing

I try to hate you

With daggers of last night’s outburst
With the strength of every ache that I went through
I see your love as self constructed and self centred
Through the prism of my rage
The thousand year old rage of one
Stuck between girlhood and womanhood
I devise ways of hating you
The instrument of silence
The tool of insolence
I count number of days I should not talk to you
Weeks I should not meet you
Months I want you to suffer
I want to summon all my hate
Fill it to the brim
And throw it all at you
Because my love is a twisted thing.
Then you say a hi
And all of it is gone in an instant
All of it is wiped clean
I no longer remember why I hated you
A part of me mourns the loss of the passionate hate
But the person becomes like a character in a movie
Living the dramatic life
Saying the thundering heartbreaking dialogues
Someone divorced from me.
Because it’s hard to hate you
When you say my name and look at me like that
Your love is a twisted thing too