Always

You lost your first friend to years, and absence mostly,

 Growing up, you turned to books, drew yourself close

There are people you lose to places,

 They stayed, you left, 

You can taste grief like a tablet

stuck in your throat, choking you

There is grief for love almost lost,

 Then there is the sensation of numbness

The disbelief that leads you to a state of nothingness

Vacant spaces in you that you try to fill with words

 But it's inevitably their words you chance upon

There is a constant contradiction of remembering and forgetting

Remembering a certain winter afternoon spent soaking up the sun

And forgetting the details- the mouth, the eyes, the hands of the person

You, who all these times have never turned to prayers,

Are found following the rituals you have seen your mother perform.

At this moment, events are unfolding over which you have no control

 They will leave terrible imprints on you

You lose people but you cling on to the notion

 That you will find them again.

Run into them in a crowded street, perhaps in another country.

Perhaps twenty years down the line.

 You lose people to death

Which seems the most bewildering to you

 Because it is so final that you can't get a grip on it.

It evades you like morning dreams on waking up.

He had last asked, "Will you wait for me?"

 You had said, "Always".