Saturday, April 13, 2013

So what have you learnt so far

So what have you learnt so far,
Apart from what everyone keeps telling you- 
that you should learn algebra, sit like a lady-
 straightbacked, hands folded,  crossed legged,
 to close your mouth when you chew your food
 and definitely definitely not talk while chewing,
 write in such a way to please the examiner
 and better your handwriting, keep your room clean
 and to organise your wardrobe so that a mountain
 of clothes and miscellaneous objects(probably love
 letters received and hate/apology letters never sent) 
don’t descend on you like an avalanche when you
 open your cupboard, to lock up everything you
 can possible lock(but you can’t conceive why
 anyone would waste their energy stealing
 worthless things that you own),
You have learnt to not kick rocks when  Madgirl
 drives you crazy(with rage ofcourse), to hold on to J
 even when things get difficult and he talks in the way
 that reminds you of departures and makes you cry
 but it still makes sense to hold on because you both 
are worth holding on to, to preserve letters even if
 they are absurd and illegible and never sent because
 you were what you wrote and you are what
 you are writing, to walk as much as possible 
as long as there is no risk of heatstroke or being robbed
 and other horrid things because it makes you feel  healthy
 and less fat and the most engaging conversations can take place, 
you miss home but you dread it and it is something you
 will take a lifetime to figure out but then again these might
 be one of those things which are never fully understood 
and that’s why you obsess over it so much.

You know how you are at nineteen

You know how you are at nineteen,
halfway through despair and hope,
 trying to quit some things, trying to
pick up a few fallen dreams, stepping on
 crunchy brown leaves, talking a wrong
turn on the way to the dentist, feeling as
scared as you were at six when you suffered
 your first toothache, and finding a florist,
your eyes feasting on riot of colours
each bunch more lovelier than the other
 yellow daffodils just the way Wordsworth
 described them, violet gladiolus, pristine white lilies,
 though you trampled on your mother’s flower beds
as a child and delighted in plucking them, intending it
 for prayer services to a deity of toy- blonde blue-eyed
teen on a her red convertible, the envy of
 the neighbouring kids, and then you think
of how you would be a twenty-something, with a house
of your own-furnished with white curtains with delicate
 prints of carnations daintily flying to welcome you
as you open your door, a warm red rug
 at the centre of your living room, yellow chairs
in the kitchen, shelves of books in every room,
 a clock from a street in St. Moritz, the wall hanging
 from Rangoon and other things, because by then
you would have been to a few places, covered 1/110th of the world,
 so  you imagine how at twenty-something,
you would pick up a bunch of flowers and head home?

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

MadGirl's Birthday

You look absurd
With that frown on your face
Strange objects perched on your head
Exhibiting terrible grins,
(Only you know what I am talking about)
Old pictures.Your birthday.
Another one has you twirling your hair.
Staring into space.
White and blue tadpoles.Books piled up.
My back turned against the camera.
My hands blurred as I reached out
To snatch the book from your hands.