Walking in CP
In search of a Marlboro advance
Many cities away from you
I am reminded of the city in which you lie enclosed
Even those days when I spent discovering it on my own
Initially overwhelmed by the newness of it, the strangeness, the surging never - ending crowd like waves after waves
And then stumbling upon the joy of travelling alone
I felt my fear and apprehension slipping away
And the gripping realisation that I would be alright
We manage we will survive
I wonder if this is how you felt in your first days

And that I can do anything, go anywhere , be on my own,
That I am stronger and smarter than I  thought myself capable
And then the delight of seeing you at the end of every day
Always a bit pensive
Sometimes so animated
Other times so wary and hurt
Over connections and disconnections
Over so much and so little
The audacity of our lives
Intertwining once again
Just for a little while
And disbelieving,
The intimacy of being enclosed in your  house
The familiarity of your old clothes
Of your old bones
A dream I remember with a little ache.