I just have to let you know
 For the last time
 That I love you.
And that I wish you well.
I love you.
I love you so much.
Please take very good care of yourself.

The only way I can reconcile with your absence
Is to allow myself the hope that
I will somehow, someday, somewhere
Find you again
Maybe in some hidden corner on the edge of the earth
Maybe one rainy day we will find ourselves
taking shelter under the same roof
Run into each other at a departmental store
I am willing to believe in coincidences
I am willing to believe in just about anything
To see you again.
Years and years later,
I imagine you full of a life I missed out on
Running into your arms,
I would feel as though I have finally
 arrived home after years of exile.
And as a final act of kindness
Please do not say otherwise.
Please leave me this much.

Was it me you were speaking to,
The last thing you wrote.
Or should I stop writing?

All that you said,

I wish that too in 

that sweet moment 

when the world is wiped clean 

and anything is possible,

before sleep takes over.

That is all

You,
I start at you and I don't know the rest.
I say it over and over
And I don't know how to proceed
My words are failing me.
Please don't go, I want to say
But I erase it
Please be alright,
 I will say instead.

You are not here anymore.
That is all.

You

You 

will always be you 

in ways that bereaves me

Now sealed from each other

My ears pressed to the walls of the room

You occupy, worlds that never meet

Just felt intuitively

Through lost currents of the heart.

That is how the world shatters.

That is how the world spins.

If I say your name at one end of the world
 Would you hear me at the other end?

Sick to the stomach

Afraid to even write here, 

Still in love, still in fear

A series of emotions I am

Unable to entangle

but mostly the debilitating, weakening, sinking 

 falling that stands out

The dread of just falling without landing

without an end

Unable to write, unable to eat

In the mistaken belief 

That you would peel off my skin

 and I would punctuate you life.

Silence, so much silence its beginning

 to reverberate into loud nothingness

Still so much to stitch back together

With needles, only the sharpest would do

Vast expanse of space now,

No plans, no date marked

Blank pages, nothing much to write about

A book suddenly made blank

Un-inked, wiped out of trace

Words undone

You have already done so much of trying

To claw yourself back into what was

Don't you see the deep red  blood you drew from him?

It is time to leave. 

Muffled sobs because your mother sleeps beside you.

What you wouldn't give to be in an empty house

To cry your eyes out

To live your life out in the never-ending desert

 Searching for what you have lost 

And will never get back

Still the tug of the heart to overcome.