Sick to the stomach

Afraid to even write here, 

Still in love, still in fear

A series of emotions I am

Unable to entangle

but mostly the debilitating, weakening, sinking 

 falling that stands out

The dread of just falling without landing

without an end

Unable to write, unable to eat

In the mistaken belief 

That you would peel off my skin

 and I would punctuate you life.